My Future Self
Yesterday, I shared how hard all this social media stuff has been for me this week. Not impossible by any means, but more of a challenge than I expected or like to admit. Today, I just got off a group coaching call with the amazing Leah Badertscher (check out her podcast at The Art School). Leah’s been a friend for many years and I have watched in awe as she has cultivated one of the most intentional lives I’ve ever seen - building a thriving coaching business while producing and selling her beautiful art and raising three adorable munchkins (among a whole host of other things). And I’ve always thought, “Wow, good for her” while thinking very different thoughts about my own ability to create a similar existence for myself. Leah would have some hard takes on that. The good news is that I am working through a number of old belief systems that haven’t served me so well and bits and pieces of that journey will undoubtedly show up in the blog.
This is maybe my favorite picture of my mom. I love the smile and the fact that she’s building her snowman on a car. Because why not? Her future self DEFINITELY would have told her to go for it!!!
Today, though, I want to share this idea we discussed of connecting with your future self. The self that has already accomplished the things that you are dreaming about and working toward today. The things that that sometimes feel so big and so far away that you get mired down in the River of Misery and focus on the hard instead of the joy. The River and I are good friends, btw. Leah’s simple and profound recommendation today was to ask your future self some questions: How is SHE showing up in the world? What is she thinking about what’s going on right now? In my case, I believe she’s thinking things like “Remember how hard you thought this social media stuff was but how easy it got after just a little bit more exploration and action.” Or maybe, “I can’t even believe you ever thought you’d already peaked with technology. You’ve always been such a strong learner and you had nothing but time to do the work. What a gift that was and look at all it has brought you.” BE HER NOW. Three simple words that change everything. Be your future self who takes all this success a little bit for granted because it is so expected. Be the future self that has no trouble believing these big dreams will come true because, in her world, they already have.
Versions of this future self are no stranger to me. Alison 2.0 (and 1.15 and 3.0) have floated through life with me on more than one occasion. Florida Alison is another alter ego that I have considered superior to South Bend Alison. I earned this title when we bought a condo in St. Pete Beach a few years ago. Florida Alison was very decisive in making purchases (as opposed to SB Alison who has a sign in her kitchen that says Indecision may or may not be my problem). Florida Alison exercised daily, ate healthier, relaxed more, etc. I chalked it up to the fact that Florida Alison was on vacation! But if I’m honest, I know that Florida Alison is just a mindset and, for better or worse, I take my mind with me everywhere.
This, of course, ties directly back to the toolkit in Ready, Regan?. I am doing all this work now to undo so many of the negative beliefs I allowed myself to have all along the way. Many of them started at a very young age and were reinforced over and over by me. My hope for the next generation is that they cultivate this more expansive, more self-loving mindset as youngsters so it feels natural always. So while they are out there navigating all that the world will throw at them, they’ll better understand how to receive it and won’t also be fighting against themselves.